Friday, March 6, 2009

YOUR OPINION

I've been curious about what you all think. I'll write more later, but for now, I just want to ask the question...

What do you think Kev and I should be doing right now to grow our family? We've been eight years without contraception, six years trying various therapies, and two and a half years undergoing more aggressive reproductive treatments. We were approved for domestic adoption six months ago.

Please go to the right and vote.

More later...

9 comments:

Sew said...

In my humble opinion, I think you should find the "disease" behind your infertility by using NaproTehcnology. IVF will do you no good if your body isn't healty to welcome a child. :) Just my humble opinion! ;) We were born to conceive, if our bodies are not conceiving there is something wrong. Pursing those options I think are best even before you think of pursing IVF.

Evergreen said...

This is a tough call. I don't have any faith in IVF working for me, although I know some who it has worked for. Now that I've decided to adopt, it feels so clearly the right route for us. If you are in the waiting game for adoption, and have the funds, doing both is possible, but emotionally and financially very taxing.

armyadamsgirl said...

i say do both... kind of like we are.. trying to foster to adopt then eventually IVF... in about a year..best of luck

Karen said...

These are HARD choices, so good luck and be sure to have a nice bottle of wine when you discuss it all with Kev. Really, all I can offer is what we did and thought since nobody can tell you what's right for you and Kev.

With regard to IVF, it was going to cost the same amount or more than adoption, depending on how many cycles we needed, and we were looking at a 25-40% success rate with IVF versus a 75% success rate for adoption, and we aren't gamblers.

With regard to doing IVF and adoption simultaneously, we had to sign an agreement with our SW that we wouldn't do that. Her reasoning is that it isn't fair to a birth mother who has set her heart on you as the parents of her baby to find out that you can't parent her child because you had IVF and got pregnant while your profile was active.

On the other hand, I like what armyadamsgirl said. I think that if J and I find ourselves in the right financial circumstances eventually we might be open to IVF. Since we have Evie so the 25-40% success rate with IVF isn't as scary to us now.

allyouwhohope said...

I completely agree with Sew. I'm praying that you are picked by a birthmother soon and/or that you are able to get to the bottom of what is going on and treat it. Hang in there!

MrsJoyner said...

I don't have very good advice..As an adopted child myself..I am all for adoption..I could'nt have been born to better parents. On the same token, right now, I cannot imagine not having my own biological kids, even though I know we will adopt at least one..Im sorry I don't have better advice..on another hand..I heart your blog and I've nominated you for an award..Head over to my blog to see it!

Alexicographer said...

I came over from LFCA. I don't know you well enough to feel I can vote, but I can tell you I pursued both and we did end up conceiving (via IVF) the pregnancy that became our son. The agency we worked with didn't prohibit this and honestly ... I don't see how they could; I mean, we personally did know we needed IVF to conceive (100% MF), but plenty of people (not tons, but some) do conceive without help even after medical assistance fails. So a blanket policy of "you cannot get pregnant" just seems nuts.

I would say though that you should think through how you would deal with being pregnant and adopting at the same time, or whether there's a point at which you'd put an adoption on hold or back out, and plan/behave accordingly. The agency we worked with allowed up to 3 years "off" (without getting kicked permanently out of the system), to allow for things like, well, pregnancy, or health problems, or job change, or whatever, so that factored into our math.

Whatever path(s) you choose, I hope you will soon welcome a child into your lives.

Anonymous said...

Only you and your DH can really decide. I think maybe you should do both, is there a reason you ruled out adopting from overseas like maybe Russia? Just curious, with international adoption you are guaranteed a child match at some point with domestic adoption the BM can change her mind at the last minute and the open adoption would be really hard, for me anyway. Follow your heart, and no matter what, I am hear if you need to vent.

Mikenjane said...

Found your blog through L&F&CA. Haven't been following your blog, but we were infertile for 11 years. Tried the beginning steps of infertility treatments (until they started driving us insane), then tried living without children for awhile, then we started pursuing international adoption.

Now we have two daughters adopted from China and are very happy. Adoption is a very beautiful experience and the adoption community is very supportive.

Good luck where ever your journey takes you!

 
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