KILLER PANTS? NO MORE!

It's been nine weeks since I started my diet, and I'm officially down 15 pounds. I realize it's not exactly a drastic change. I haven't been like Ruby who's on average dropped that each month, but I've got something going on. I definitely feel better. I feel like I look better too. I noticed today that for the first time in many months, the waist on my slacks didn't bisect me. I actually made it through an entire day of teaching without the clasps on my pants digging into my fat rolls. Hallelujah!

Honestly, I haven't adhered to my diet as well as I should have, but come on, it's a really strict diet. Not only am I limited to a few hundred calories per day, but I cannot have ANY sugar - none. And grains? Why, I can have an entire half piece of whole wheat bread per day. Throw on top of that the fact that I am already a strict vegetarian, and I'm pretty much left with a diet consisting of tofu, veggies, and soy milk.

The first month I was on the diet, I followed it very closely. I used the menu to plan my meals, measured everything, and never cheated. But, really I was miserable. I didn't feel like I could ever eat at restaurants or even at my mom & dad's. I felt guilty for being polite at dinner with my in-laws and eating what I knew was not on my diet. I felt guilty when my mother bought special groceries when I went for visits. I felt guilty for eating something that might have been made with too much olive oil or the wrong kind of cheese. I ended up feeling guilty a lot.

So after the first month (and first seven pounds), I reflected on my goal and decided that I needed to make a change. I decided not to be so hard on myself and to allow myself to enjoy good food (and even comfort food once in a great while), no matter how far off my diet it took me. And so, in my second month of dieting, I enjoyed non-fat frozen yogurt, pizza, key lime pie, and I even really splurged and had a serving of mashed potatoes! I did all that and continued to lose weight.

Has the splurging set me back a bit? Yeah, I probably could have lost more weight. Am I a little happier now that I allow myself occasional yummies? Maybe. Probably. Do I still feel guilty when I do splurge? Definitely. But at least my pants don't injure me anymore.