Thursday, May 29, 2008

MOMMY CLOCK

Kev and I fell madly in love in our early twenties.  The first year of our relationship was long distance, with Kev living in Alicante, Spain and me in Columbia, Missouri.  It was terribly romantic.  We wrote letters and emails, and spent hours getting to know one another over the phone, racking up well-worth-it cell bills.  When he returned to the States, we dropped everything to embark on an adventure together.  We spent three months living on Texan beaches and hitchhiking our way across Central Mexico (coast to coast) and the Southern United States.  It was a time when we could concentrate on us, learn about each other, and realize that in one another, we had each found our soul mate.  It was on this trip that we discussed the dozens of children we would one day have.

   
A couple of years after returning from this life-altering and life-affirming trek, we were married in the Gunnison National Forest in Crested Butte, Colorado.  Because we chose to have an intimate wedding, we used the money we saved and took a six-week honeymoon in Italy-our luna de miela.  We returned from our trip to a new job for Kevin, a new school for Gina, and a new apartment overlooking the river downtown.  We were officially beginning our life together bonded in true love and mutual respect.  

Like many newlywed couples, we were in different places when it came to deciding on a time frame for starting a family.  I, being a year and a half older and suspicious of my own fertility, was ready to begin trying NOW.   Kevin wanted some time to play with each other, travel, and enjoy the perks of a child-free lifestyle.  We discussed it, argued about it, cried over it, and months later we still hadn't come to an agreement on when we would start trying.  
 
Let me back up.
 
I didn't get my first period until I was 18.  Yup, 18.  And I only had one.  The fact that I watched all my friends get their first and subsequent periods made me a little worried about my own health.  Yet I never saw a doctor until after my first lonely period.  I eventually started birth control to regulate my cycles, and I stayed on it until Kevin and I were engaged. When I came off the Pill, the menstruation completely stopped again.   So even though we weren't officially "trying," we also weren't doing anything to prevent a pregnancy because if I wasn't menstruating, I also wasn't ovulating.  This is why we fought.  I had an overwhelming desperation to find out what was wrong with me.  I wanted to see a specialist.  My internal mommy clock was ticking.  

1 comments:

Rose Welch said...

Gosh Gina, Can I ever relate to this! I too was late starting my periods (not as late as you, but late) and had very few periods. I didn't ovulate either - or at leas not often! I figured once every 7 years in October since Josh and Brooke were both born in July (21st & 19th). 5 yrs. of Infertility work-up to no avail, laporoscopy, chlomid. When I put it all in Gods hands -COMPLETELY- I started having periods and ovulating and was pregnant with Josh a year later. It was the happiest day of my life! 7 years of no prevention and Brooke comes along. I know the longing you are feeling and I know the heart-ache you are feeling. I know also the frustration and anger. I have never mis-carried and I Thank God for that. I will keep you and Kevin in my prayers.
Love you!
Rose (Fisher) Welch

 
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