Thursday, March 26, 2009


Every day, I come home from work and fly down the stairs in the hopes that the answering machine light will be blinking. Each day it happens to blink, I hold my breath in an attempt to stifle the pounding hopeful heartbeats as I hit the 'play' button. Inevitably, the message is from a well-wishing relative or an automated recording alerting me to the dangers of not refinancing my mortgage.

I realize that it's tough times for everyone in this economy. People are losing jobs, unable to find work, and dipping into 401K's just to make ends meet. But, come on. You can't do this to people who are daily waiting for the call that is to be the beginning of an open adoption.

You cannot call and leave a message like this:

"Hey, guys, it's me. I have some really important information for you and I need you to call me as soon as you can. Love ya."

Upon hearing this, people who anxiously await "the call" begin to dream. Maybe [caller] knows of a birth mother considering open adoption! Maybe [caller] is going to help us in some way! Hurry! CALL HIM BACK! NOW!!

And when you call the loved one back, you get an overly eager invitation to invest in a fail-safe-not-a-pyramid-scheme-money-making opportunity. And if you don't invest, it must mean that a) you have all the money you need or b) you're not interested in making money. How could it be anything else? Only fools do not invest in sure things.

Please. Don't do this to people who have been dealing with infertility for six years. Don't do this to people who are relying on loved ones to help them become adoptive parents. Don't do this and then try to make them feel foolish for keeping their hard-earned savings safe for the child they have been working for so long to bring home.

I know times are tough for everyone. But some of us need a call that will get us closer to our dreams of being parents - not yacht owners.


Celia said...

Nothing is more infuriating than having potential good news turn into a lame telemarketer call.

Ugh. Have you found trying to adopt very hard? It seems so overwhelming to me. I am so afraid to really settle down to research. I have poked around and it's like trying to circle a whale.

Tricia said...

I can relate!! Hello I am Tricia and I just want to let you know I've been reading your blog

mgstone said...

Ugh! Horrible, I would let that person have it. So sad and selfish, I think I would add a comment on your answer machine, something like we hope you are leaving a message that may help grow our family, maybe then people wont get your hopes us..HUGS!

The Swann's said...

New reader here and I must say, this type of message would leave me so upset!!! Oh, I do hope that the calls from "unimportant" people are subsiding and THE call will arrive soon!!!! I will certainly check back to see how things are going for you all!

From a fellow "fertility challenged" couple to you... Wishing you all the best and a ton more patience!


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