The hits just keep on coming.
This week, I have learned about three of my friends' new pregnancies. Yes, I am happy for them. They're beautiful, strong women who will make and are already great mothers. But I'm sad for the gaping hole in my life. I'm sad for me. And Kevin.
He doesn't show his emotions much, but I can tell when things get to him. And they're starting to.
He would make a terrific father. He's devoted and active and loving and funny and curious and playful and a million other things. I want so badly to make him a daddy. He deserves it. I'm the only reason he's not already a daddy. I feel like such a failure. It's the truth and it hurts like hell.
All this infertility shit hurts like hell. Every day. My body is broken. My brain is failing. My heart is breaking. My soul is wearing thin.
It's been almost six years of infertility. I wonder how much more of this pain I can handle.