I've already written about my second goal which is to finish quilting the baby blanket my neighbor got me started on. You can read about it here. Even though I have no baby nor am I expecting, nor have I heard anything from our adoption agency or lawyer, I am still trying to stay positive. It's so easy for me to fall into a well of depression - especially when loved ones ask (because they care) if we have any news to share and I still have no news to share. I guess working on the quilt will keep me upbeat? I honestly haven't worked on it for weeks. Probably because I get depressed about my current lack of baby prospects when I pick it up and realize that there still is NO BABY. God, maybe I don't know what the purpose of the quilt is. It's currently sitting in a bag in dozens of pieces beside my oversized purple chair. I think that maybe deep down the reason that I made the completion of this quilt a goal for this year is because that would mean that we have a baby on the way. Right now, there is NO BABY on the way. I just get that queasy feeling in my stomach when I think about the fact that there actually is NO BABY to receive the blanket. It's the same kind of emptiness I feel when I walk past the empty nursery.
21 hours ago