WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

Who would have thought that my ass would still be sore from the past two years of shots? I haven't had a shot in almost two months, yet both of my cheeks are tender in the target zone. To find the right shot spot, Kev would draw a cross on one cheek, aim, and fire in the upper outer quadrant. Once he hit my sciatic nerve and I promptly fainted. Dr. Z always said, "Do not inject the woman with the pink needle," because it was ENORMOUS. We used a smaller gauged grey needle, but he never mentioned anything about hitting the sciatic. When we started the whole shoot 'em up game two years ago, Kev nearly fainted in the doctor's office when he was giving us oral instructions. He was a trooper, though. The first few times, he had to chug a beer to relax, then take a stab. By the end, he could have done it with his eyes closed. Sometimes the medicine hurt so bad going in that I would cry. Just a couple of tears, but a squeaky sound always escaped my clenched teeth.

Who would have thought that the inside of my elbows would still be bruised from the past two years of bloodwork? I must say, I am not missing getting up at the crack of dawn to go to the basement of St. Luke's to get poked by a two-bit phlebotomist. They were usually nice, and sometimes gentle, but occasionally a newbie would draw my blood, and of course they would stick the needle in my arm and jab around under my skin until they found a vein. St. Luke's proved to be better all around, however, once we figured out that I could get my blood drawn there for $67 as opposed to $297 a pop at the LabOne clinics around town. Take that number, multiply by three times a week, add the fact that insurance covers NOTHING, and you've got quite a hefty bill and a lot less blood.

Who would have thought that I would miss coffee so much? For the past few years I've passed on caffeinated beverages. I honestly didn't realize how much I loved this brewed bean wonder until my dear husband started replacing my morning decaf hot tea with sweet, creamy coffee once we decided to stop trying to conceive. I really do love it. I can't get enough of it. I usually only have one cup a day, but if I could I would drink it until noon. Or later. But then...

Who would have thought that a beer after a rough day of work could be so refreshing? Nuff said.

ONE MORE TRY AT IUI

I finished the 21 days of the Pill on Tuesday and am currently on cycle day 2. I had an ultrasound this morning that showed that the three large cysts that were holding us back had withered away and my sleepy little ovaries are still polycystic. This is good news. I will start stimming (stimulating my ovaries with injectable drugs) tomorrow in order to attempt another IUI. So for roughly the next two weeks, I will be getting shots in the stomach and ass, getting bloodwork taken a few times a week, and having ultrasounds a few times a week. Oh, and I'll also have an HSG. The bloodwork monitors my estrogen levels, while the ultrasounds monitor the growth of follicles on my ovaries and the thickness of my endometrial lining. The HSG is a procedure where the doc forces liquid dye through my fallopian tubes (it's terribly painful for some, but I seem to handle it okay). Keep in mind that although I am currently covered under THREE insurance policies, all of these expenses come right out of our pocket. No one covers infertility treatments. Insurance companies act like I've elected to have these disorders - that infertility is something that I've chosen. Bastards.

Anyway, I thought I'd include a picture and explanation of what a month in the life of Gina & Kevin on infertility meds is like. In the above picture, I have laid out all medicines that I will pump through my body over the course of about 28 days. They are aligned from left to right in the order in which I will take them. Follow along...

Pre IUI cycle:

Metformin 2000 mg daily (This is to regulate insulin which my body does not do on its own thanks to PCOS. Without it, all sugar and carbohydrates turn to fat instead of energy like in a normal body. I've been on this for two + years.)

PreNatal vitamin daily (This is obviously to prepare my body for baby. I've been on this for five years.)

Birth Control Pill (I take this between medicated cycles in order to let my body - especially my ovaries - rest from the hyperstimulation. It pretty much gets me ready to go into overdrive.)

During 28 day IUI cycle:

Follistim (FSH) - Injected subcutaneously in my stomach CD 3-7 (This makes my ovaries produce a whole bunch of follicles and tells them to GROW!)

Puregon (HMG) - Injected intramuscularly in my ass CD 8-19 or 20 (This makes my ovaries pick a few - between 1 & 4 - dominant follicles and only make them grow. These follicles will *hopefully* each release the egg inside it after the next step.)

Pregnyl (HCG) - Also injected into one of my bum cheeks once my follicles and endometrial lining reach an acceptable size (This tricks my body into ovulating. The mature follicles each release their egg to make their way through the fallopian tubes, hopefully to meet Kev's little swimmers.)

Prometrium - Taken until I get a period, or if I am pregnant, until my Dr. tells me to quit (This makes my endometrium a nice and hospitable place for the fertilized eggy to attach and grow.)

Crinone (Unfortunately, I haven't ever gotten this far in any of the IUI cycles. It is a progesterone gel that is inserted vaginally that ensures the endometrium stays nice and cozy for the little growing babe. Maybe this time I'll get to use it.)

So there you have it, folks. A month in the life of an infertile trying IUI. We are ready to roll. Wish us luck!