WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

Who would have thought that my ass would still be sore from the past two years of shots? I haven't had a shot in almost two months, yet both of my cheeks are tender in the target zone. To find the right shot spot, Kev would draw a cross on one cheek, aim, and fire in the upper outer quadrant. Once he hit my sciatic nerve and I promptly fainted. Dr. Z always said, "Do not inject the woman with the pink needle," because it was ENORMOUS. We used a smaller gauged grey needle, but he never mentioned anything about hitting the sciatic. When we started the whole shoot 'em up game two years ago, Kev nearly fainted in the doctor's office when he was giving us oral instructions. He was a trooper, though. The first few times, he had to chug a beer to relax, then take a stab. By the end, he could have done it with his eyes closed. Sometimes the medicine hurt so bad going in that I would cry. Just a couple of tears, but a squeaky sound always escaped my clenched teeth.

Who would have thought that the inside of my elbows would still be bruised from the past two years of bloodwork? I must say, I am not missing getting up at the crack of dawn to go to the basement of St. Luke's to get poked by a two-bit phlebotomist. They were usually nice, and sometimes gentle, but occasionally a newbie would draw my blood, and of course they would stick the needle in my arm and jab around under my skin until they found a vein. St. Luke's proved to be better all around, however, once we figured out that I could get my blood drawn there for $67 as opposed to $297 a pop at the LabOne clinics around town. Take that number, multiply by three times a week, add the fact that insurance covers NOTHING, and you've got quite a hefty bill and a lot less blood.

Who would have thought that I would miss coffee so much? For the past few years I've passed on caffeinated beverages. I honestly didn't realize how much I loved this brewed bean wonder until my dear husband started replacing my morning decaf hot tea with sweet, creamy coffee once we decided to stop trying to conceive. I really do love it. I can't get enough of it. I usually only have one cup a day, but if I could I would drink it until noon. Or later. But then...

Who would have thought that a beer after a rough day of work could be so refreshing? Nuff said.