Tuesday, February 17, 2009


This is an oxymoron. There really is no such thing. It's like an awfully good jumbo shrimp.

In our six years of infertility treatments of varying intensities, we have spent tens of thousands of dollars. Every penny we save goes to our next infertility venture. Sure, there was that one time four years ago when we spent a week on the Mayan Riviera with my brother, and the jaunt last fall out to New Mexico for the weekend, but other than that, we know where our money is going before it gets here. It will go to our next infertility treatment, surgery, procedure, injectable drugs, ultrasounds, adoption home study, or whatever is coming up. Until life outside our most intimate world happens, that is. At that point, the infertility money becomes home repair, or new tires, or taxes.

So my question is this: How does a couple who makes under $100,000 a year pay for the average $15,000 IVF or adoption when thier health care pays for no infertility coverage and insurance offers no adoption assistance? I know you have some ideas concerning my existing spending, so let me enlighten you. We own both cars, we have basic cable (REALLY basic - $14), we never buy new clothes, never buy new things for the house like pillows, decorations, etc., rarely eat out, but we have massive student loans, and a small credit card debt. There it is... my life on the line. I would love some suggestions. I am desperate. My Mommy Clock has been ticking and ticking and ticking faster.

I feel I've already said too much. I fondly await your esteemed responses.



'Murgdan' said...

Nothing much different. No cable at all here. 'Pay as you go' wireless. No new clothes. Nearly no eating out. New coupon/generic/and only if on sale grocery shopping strategy. Pay the savings account first. A few extra 'gigs' on the side of my regular job. We would have totally had it made if my hubby hadn't wrecked his paid off car a few months ago (and added a new payment on our heads)

Ummmmm...What else is there? OH yeah, I'm headed to Reno for a conference in a month and I'm hoping to turn 20 bucks into 20,000bucks. Wish me luck.

I'll check back when you get new comments. I need new ideas.

Anonymous said...

Hi Gina
Here in South Africa, we've been fairly fortunate not to be hit as hard by the world economic down turn, so we're not feeling is as hard as you all are. In addition, I think an IVF here is fairly cheap, my upcoming IVF in March will cost us R36 000 which equates to about $4000. We have world class fertility clinics here in South Africa and I know a LOT of Americans come out here for IVF because of the exchange rate ($1 + R10)they can have a world class IVF and a holiday for less or about the same as what an IVF in the US would cost.
As for myself, I've used my credit card as a savings facility, pump all my cash and savings in there, keep the card in a + balance and earn good interest on my savings while I"m about it.
All the best!

melissa said...

It sounds like we are pretty similar when it comes to finances. It was a big concern for us as to how we would pay for it.
The first thing we did is found an agency that has a pay as your go plan, so we didnt have to pay a lump sum up front, but little bits along the way. There are a lot of adoption grants out there to help with the burden (google steven curtis chapman and adoption)
but you have to have a homestudy to apply.

So we are cutting back on everything, and saving where ever we can. We are also going through our house and trying to sell stuff on craig's list.
This weekend we are having a yardsale and a majority of the items are coming from friends who offered to donate stuff.
We just have to make it to through the homestudy and then we are hoping to pay the rest with grants.
It has gone well so far, praying that it continues.
I hope that helps!

Anonymous said...

My first suggestion is to check into how much of your adoption costs you'd be able to get back as a tax credit because that might make you feel less panicky about the adoption aspect of it. As for the IF treatment costs I have no advice because what you're describing is exactly why we never did IVF...we just couldn't afford to spend that much and risk ending up with no baby at the end of it, so we decided to pursue adoption instead. It's a tough choice but I'm so so so happy we have Evie.

My second suggestion might sound insane, but I'll go ahead and say it anyhow since you guys are Catholic. J and I are Christians, too, (although Protestant) and we struggled financially until we took a leap of faith and started tithing. It's not a magic trick, but we found that as soon as we started giving a full 10% of our income to our church, and doing so with a generous spirit, our financial situation turned around and we quickly got out of debt and since then we've never had any long-term or serious financial headaches, and we never fight about money anymore. We're not a fluke, either, because I've seen the same thing happen for other couples! If you're already tithing 10% then forgive me for assuming you aren't, it's just that most people don't. :)

Photogrl said...

In the same boat here, too.

No answers...I just keep hoping that somehow I can figure out a way to do it.


Rebecca said...

No better advice than what you've been given, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. We don't make near what you do, and our insurance doesn't cover anything infertility related either. Trying to make the best of what we can right now and keep saving as we can.


michelle said...

I don't have anything for you either...sorry...just that we too are in the same boat..it is really hard.....hang in there...it will be all worth it!

dropping in from ICLW

m :)

Anonymous said...

We took a low interest personal loan to do our IVFs. At this rate our daughter will be "paid off" when she starts school. I wish there was an easy answer for you, I think everyone struggles with this.


Find joy in every journey said...

Just found your blog. Congrats on the marriage blessing! I don't beieve the our God is an angry God. He is all love.

I agree with the previous poster about tithing. Things have miraculously appeared at the right times for us. Amazing. (We are Catholic and even gave a talk at mass about tithing)

Congratulations again!

Anonymous said...

i wish i knew the answer to that question as well! thanks for the comment and good luck to you!

Seriously? - Erin said...

I find it amazing how many people have to sacrifice so much to get what they want. I just watched my friend refinance her house in order to afford her IVF cycle.

All the best on your journey.

Nicole said...

Hi. I just found your blog today. Since I have experienced health issues in the past couple years concerning endometriosis, I thought I would leave a comment. My husband and I are now on the TTC road. Thanks for all your posts, the connection I have found on the internet has given me a support system now from the start. I'll be praying for you. - Nicole

The Swann's said...

As I've continued to read, I COMPLETELY understand!!! Although we have not sacrificed as much as you all seem to have it is the darn student loan payments that are eating us alive...

I am moving forward with selling a TON of stuff on craigslist.com and ebay.com to see if we can't earn a few extra bucks to help out with IF costs...

If you find the magic trick, please do share!!! Otherwise, I'll be praying you win the lottery soon!!! ;-)


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