SERENITY

We've been working on getting addresses together and our letters sent out to family and friends. I think we're about half way there. We still have a lot of addresses to find, though... I truly hate that part. It reminds me of the tedium of searching for the hundreds of addresses for our wedding announcements six and half years ago. But, of course, I do it out of love. Love for our unborn child who is out there somewhere, waiting to be born. Waiting to come home to Kevin and me to these arms of love and hearts overflowing. And until that day comes, we wait too. I guess we're waiting on God to bring us all together.

I know God has a plan for us. I just don't understand why it's taking Him so long. I suppose it's not for me to try to understand.

While at my parents' house this weekend, I saw a magnet on their fridge that had the serenity prayer written on it. I found myself reciting this prayer repeatedly throughout the day and night and even on our way back into KC late Sunday evening. I've known this prayer for as long as I can remember, and have always known that it had a special import. Even as a child I knew that this prayer was lifted up to God in times of great stress or confusion, but I've never felt as though I needed it. Perhaps I never felt as though I required help to sort things out in my life. Maybe things in my life haven't really been too confusing up until now. Regardless, I've never found myself so moved by this prayer as I have been for the past few days. I think now I need it. I think now that God is speaking in my life. I plan to hold on to this sign from God, to continue to recite it and ask for guidance. Maybe there's something I've been missing for the past five years that has been standing in my way of becoming a mother. Time will tell.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.